Best damn bartender from here to Portland, Maine...or Portland, Oregon for that matter.

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Man, I can still smell the music, and thats not something like I could sense the melody and the finer qualities of the music intertwined to produce a sound that you could almost smell, but I mean I could smell the stinky paper, it stunk. Thats why the library now has air fresheners, known to many as 'John Smell Pieces.'

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Suprisingly 40 Nickles is only $2, but 40 Quarters is $10, coincidence? I don't see any relation between the two actually.

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I'm not some quote-makin' machine, but if I was, I'd run on natural gas. Quote me on that.

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That post office has too many parking places.

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I'm not mean; I'm nice in disguise.

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No, it's because he was a jerk, that's why everyone does everything.

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Drugs and Addiction, they're the conjugate pair of Misfortune.

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